16 Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Marriage Therapists

A first date probably isn’t the best time to take a deep dive into your dating history. Keep the conversation light and fun, and leave discussion of your past romances for after you’ve spent some more time together. These questions are intellectually stimulating, and your date will have to do some thinking before answering. It’s a good indicator of whether or not they can be philosophical and look deeper into themselves.

Most people are afraid to ask the “what do you want” types of questions because they don’t want to scare the other person. But if someone can’t give you an honest answer or takes this to mean you want to marry them on the second date, then this says more about them than you. To save yourself any wasted time or heartache, try to be direct early in the dating stage. With this question, “you’ll see if you’re compatible with the way you see the world. And those tend to be big deals for people,” says Riordan.

Use Humor

“It can help you get a sense of if they were paying attention to you or not,” says Schwartz. “We often end up in a relationship thinking that they’ll just learn these skills. But with this question, you can acknowledge where their weaknesses lie, and move forward accordingly,” says Riordan.

First Date Conversation Starters

“People love talking about themselves, and they’ll light up when you mention things they’re passionate about,” she says. And if there’s no reason to go down that road, run (don’t walk) away from that question into the safer territory of the first date topics listed below. At the end of the day, it’s not just about finding the right person—it’s about enjoying the process. So, be yourself, have fun, and let the conversation take its course.

Lexi Inks (she/her) is a lifestyle journalist based in Jacksonville, Florida. She has reported on countless topics, including sexual wellness, astrology, relationship issues, non-monogamy, mental health, pop culture, and more. In addition to Women’s Health, her work has been published on Bustle, Cosmopolitan, Well + Good, Byrdie, Popsugar, and others. As a queer and plus-size woman with living with mental illness, Lexi strives for intersectionality and representation in all of her writing. She holds a BFA in Musical Theatre from Jacksonville University, which she has chosen to make everyone’s problem.

You want to ask meaningful questions that spark an interesting conversations and help you get to know the other person. When you’ve just started dating, it’s exciting but also a little nerve-wracking. You want to get to know each other, and it’s important to keep the convo flowing. They’re the perfect get-to-know-you questions for dating without sounding like an interrogation. On that note, there aren’t necessarily “wrong” things to ask on a first date either.

• Be sure to stick to questions that don’t cause uncomfortable silences.
• ” can spark a lighthearted discussion and ease the tension.
• This information is especially helpful to know if you’ve already been on a few fruitless dates with others.
• You can think of more questions and add them to the list.

But dating isn’t just about not stepping on something messy or explosive. It’s about communicating and getting to know the other person a bit better, so you can both decide where you’ll go from there. The date questions listed in this article will enable you to see where those mines are buried, so you can avoid stepping on them. Whether or not you’re wearing cologne to this first date, the answer to this question is useful information.

Asking thoughtful questions exudes confidence, and “people are naturally drawn to confident people,” says sexual communication and relationship expert Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD. Smiling is also important—it shows you’re enjoying the conversation. From light and fun to deep and meaningful, here are 30 questions you can turn to the next time you go on a first date. The right questions can give you a way to learn about their hobbies, values, and what makes them tick.

These questions keep things light and show you a bit about each other’s personality and VioletDates tastes. Hypothetical scenarios and would you rather questions provide a playful way to explore a person’s decision-making process, priorities, and values. These questions can also create fun and lively discussions that keep the conversation engaging. Starting off the date with some light-hearted, fun questions can help ease any tension and create a relaxed atmosphere. These questions will set a positive tone and give both of you a chance to showcase your sense of humor and creativity. More interested in getting laughs than collecting information?

(Raises hand… ) However, beneath its surface lies the potential for meaningful conversation. Thoughtful questions can reveal the stories, values, and experiences that shape a person’s identity. Small talk can be a catalyst for uncovering the complexities that often go unnoticed in our everyday exchanges. Whether it’s a favorite book or a cherished memory, these questions can lead to so much more. If this seems intimidating, generating some questions to ease first-date nerves can be a helpful starting point.

Ethan is a writer and editor dedicated to exploring the dynamics of modern relationships. He also plays a pivotal role in shaping the editorial direction of RelationUp.

It is better to clarify their expectations before you get into something serious. Talk about their thoughts on relationships with these questions. Some questions are made for the first date and they will never fail you to help strike a conversation with your prospective partner. These awkward questions are not to ruin your date, instead will let the person open up more to you. While this also depends on their comfort level with you, you must always keep yourself prepared with some weird questions. And then it is perfectly acceptable to ask some awkward questions also.

A light-hearted question that reveals their sources of joy and positivity. Bea is an editor and writer with a passion for literature and self-improvement. Her ability to combine these two interests enables her to write informative and thought-provoking articles that positively impact society.

💙 Practice Listening mindfully with our Relationship with Others series. And if you’re still feeling anxious before a first date, check out these 10 ways to calm first date nerves. The best way to get to know your date is by asking them questions.